1) God-Honoring Sex starts before the bedroom.
Song of Solomon 4:1 “How beautiful you are my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves.” Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead.”
Song of Solomon 4:2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone.
Song of Solomon 4:3-4 “Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. “Your neck is like the tower of David, built with [the] courses of stone.”
2) God-Honoring Sex is a Passionate Priority
Song of Solomon 4:5 “Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies.”
Song of Solomon 4:6 “Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense.
3) God-honoring Sex is built on absolute trust.
Song of Solomon 4:7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
4) God-Honoring Sex is Holy
Song of Solomon 4:12-13 You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with choice fruits...
Mark 10:8 And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
today we are looking at the last sermon of our series on a marriage that works at work and I really enjoyed this year I’ve gotten a lot out of it and I feel the Lord is use this to help me a person and I hope that as you’ve been you felt help also I’m by the messages that God gave us when you find a spouse or when you’re looking for a spouse it’s very easy to get us all caught up in everything that’s beautiful and wonderful with magical and great what they don’t tell you is that when you find that person you have also found a vast collection of unsolvable problems that you’re going to deal with for the rest of your life
I don’t mention that part but that’s a very real reality of marriage that I should get to know each other and ask the dust begins to settle for in the honeymoon and life begins to happen and people do things are natural to them and all the sudden they discover that it’s kind of rubs against the other in the wrong way you’re like what happened here if you find all of us in every relationship we have unsolvable problems the solvable problems are about how to say about 30% of solvable problems in a marriage I do those are a little easier to deal with other solvable the ones that are unsolvable 70% of of problems those are the ones that really take the right heart and that right heart has to be a heart that comes from God several times in scripture we find God telling us that he is the solution that he has the answer but that it for us is very difficult we tend to go out on her own and try to
find Solutions we try to reach back into the past find the things that we’ve learned or take advice from other people and that doesn’t always work like me whenever I’ve gotten in trouble you know I’ll go to Amazon and download a bunch of books on on marriage and try to specify how can I get help through this all that is very good but it’s not a big book on marriage and I’ve Ever Needed what I’ve always need is what I have and that’s a big God a big God that can touch my heart that can change my heart change my attitude and really align myself not in a way to to meet somebody sneeze so much that’s why my heart up with who God is and that my might reflect the love that he has for the person that God has given me and I would understand that. That’s why I’m sure the next few moments here the first passage I want to share is Colossians chapter 3 verses 23 and 24 is the pastures of a lot of us
another matters but also a passage that reminds us of to work with excellence in to work hard and I bring this passage up and I felt that the lord gave this to me to remind us that marriage is a lot of work is probably the most work you are doing your life is the longest job that’s for sure takes Excellence it takes hard work it so that’s why I’d like to bring this pasta to Colossians chapter 3 verses 23 and 24 whatever you do work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord not for human Masters since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward it is the Lord Christ you are serving
whatever you do work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord that really is at the gist that really is an explanation of our marriage who we have got us this is how we go to work with all of our heart as if working for the Lord is so important to remember that because we get so disappointed when our work for somebody doesn’t result in a reward for us but when we work for the Lord there’s a certain reward that God gives us and that we need three more we are always serving Christ this next verse I want to share with you is Proverbs 3:6 this is absolutely love the following versus to it I’m just going to focus on on versus 6in everything to put God first and he will direct you and crowned your efforts with success in everything you do put God first
that’s a very Core lesson for us as followers of Jesus that is so hard for this to play out in real life that the distractions of the sword we let the worries of this world to overtake us and really to take our mind off Jesus who is the most important aspect of our lives and sometimes we can go days weeks and I hate to say years without ever thinking of Jesus in a way that puts him first in our lives again I had an incident this week my last Tuesday I had just finished a soccer game I was the season to send it this week but I was coaching Evergreen High School’s JV girls team we just finished and a couple of the girls come to our church and so one of their parents Matt I was there and and I I just have a load of stuff when I go to a soccer game Gatorade and all the
your car isn’t sure Matt and I are good friends for many many years it’s on the way back we get there we just sit stand at the car talk talk talk talk talk having a good time and finally come sky and you know we got you know keep going and so I go to get if I go to open my trunk and my trunk won’t open it was one of those 5 things and I log into pockets nothing and I start to panic and I’m thinking that big giant field where am I going to find my key of course I’ll be stomped on it I only have one key I guess you know the second he is so freaking expensive what am I going to do and I’m panicking and Matt says okay let’s just stop and let’s pray they don’t look it up I don’t know my head if you know how stressful it is would you help us lead us directly to the ski
and as soon as he said amen all of a sudden I remembered that I put it in the pocket of the big bag that I carry soccer balls it just as clear as day I can be much more clear than anything else just phone now am I going to say that I would have come to that memory or I wouldn’t have found that I’m sure I would have at some point right but I will tell you I was very nervous and I was going to take everything apart and it was at the moment he prayed and it reminded me that we can go to the Lord for anything and sometimes like and marriage like me I’m going to look everywhere for that key sometimes in marriage we can look everywhere for a solution we can look everywhere for a key and we think that the harder we look or the more we look or the better we’d love the different look we’re going to find it
and the reality is that is just not there to be found and you’re looking for something that doesn’t exist you’re looking and looking and looking it’s not there it was never there what you’re looking for is in your head just doesn’t exist and sometimes that’s the way we go and armor just blindly looking for something that’s going to help us out and it’s not there it’s not until we come to the reality of Jesus Christ that’s the solution that’s our hope that’s what makes a healthy marriage that was what makes a rewarding marriage it’s the daily interaction of God in our lives the help of God in our lives moment-by-moment taking our sofas of self-centeredness away from us and reorienting us to the giving loving God that I do not serve anybody I serve God and his purpose I need that constantly in my reminder constantly in my life because I so quickly
go back into myself
we are we we get going so often in these ways that it’s it’s very hard to remember how good God is and how much we can depend on God I was kind of embarrassed you know being Matt’s Pastor that he’s the one that started the prayer he saw me and I was a nervous wreck but it was a wonderful reminder to me you know what when I pray first go to the Lord first get this done and I asked our staff on Tuesday I asked before I asked him what I thought was a very important question what are you doing to prevent God from working that well that that was a thought that came to me during my devotions earlier that day what am I doing that prevents guy from work what do I mean by that while I was looking for that key
God couldn’t work I was consuming all of the mine space that I had I had already said this is what I’m going to do and I’m going to go to take everything apart. I had no room. I had no room I’ve been in relation I should have sat issues in a relationship where I just said this is what’s going to happen this is the way it’s going to have to be and I just go head-first into it you know take everything apart trying to make this happen how to make the other person that never gets me that never gets to a solution it never gets to see what happens in a situation like that I haven’t stepped back to let God work is not right I done everything I was supposed to do anyting how was God going to bring the key to my mind had Matt not prayed no it wouldn’t have and that’s a very tiny slice of the pie a bigger picture is
I have a step back and squeak called in the Christian Post surrender to God and it is a price that we pay it’s not easy to step back because we fear what’s going to happen if I step back we fear if I don’t take hold of this and make this happen it guy that’s the way it needs to go in and assert my way then is all going to come to nothing’s going to be horrible horrible it will never come to nothing that’s the right move step back and let God go to work God will give you what he wants you to do he will bring it to you put it right in front of this is how I want you to say things is where I want you to always according to his way according to let God watch God work I think so many of our Lives we want to see God working great ways but we are really act as God I want my work to be blessed and great ways stand back
I ask you to bless it kind of a thing and God doesn’t get to go for it. Doesn’t get to meet it so what’s the lesson learned in this little year it’s
pray first go to God first not last go to God first and then our relationship where we go to God is going to bring out a couple examples I just for brevity of time but number one is this importance when I think of my relationship I think of me I think of my wife and our kids are gone so I don’t have no kids around
and I was going to thank God I didn’t want to insult anybody okay I’ll move on so I think of me and that’s like us there we are right that’s not right this is not how God calls us to be married God calls us to be my wife me and Christ that’s the marriage that’s the relation Christ is always to be in the marriage in one way here present over there and whatever we do with where is Jesus where is Jesus in this that is such an important thing of both of you believe in Jesus that’s such a benefit to you in your marriage is make sure you’re following his Direction who’s leading in that that is what leads to a good marriage an example of that would be many times and
in my life when I have come up against a moment of but I would think would be a Crisis Core that’s subjective to everybody else’s opinion if it’s a crisis or not right but to me it was it was very important I come to that and when I would approach whoever it is one of my wife or somebody else I would come in out of pain in from zero is very call almost asleep and is no that’s just not how you feel things going to go well as their you’re just way too emotional about this thing and I went ahead because I just I don’t know how does Jesus come to us when he speaks to us no never he just that still small voice isn’t it becomes very gently and very kindly and in the same way in our own experiences whether it be in any relation
come in very softly come in very, very low right away that we learn as we keep our relationship to approach let’s just start from this point it’s okay you know a lot of time really does not going to believe this but it is true there stops they really do but when you come in out of town and I just sold the meeting cuz that’s not what it’s like you don’t need to go berserk it’s okay if you just tell me softly I will do this right that’s all I’m going to say I think really just leaves us another way that I think every practical thing guys
we don’t know how to keep house some guys do but I’m speaking in General Lee we don’t remember we had a guy on evolved in our church and been single his entire life and came a time when he had to move out of his house and I went over to his house to help him move and honestly I just want to turn around and go home it was horrendous oh my gosh it made my eyes bleed it was terrible and the dump is even going to accept this stuff we are in so much trouble want you to bring a bulldozer in this thing and I was explaining this to somebody and somebody else asked her what was it like you know what happened I said it’s exactly what you would imagine a man’s house to look like who never had a wife
and they understood oh okay they got it that’s what I would look like with the guy has to understand that that’s very important that the way a guy lives is not how our wives live and in that the lesson the guys have to learn is what is enough housework for my wife to think that I’m being helpful
right that’s the game and that’s what it is we have to search that out sometimes you know it’s very hard to figure it out but regardless
I don’t know you women don’t know that we think this week we got to figure this out what is enough for her to think that I’m doing my job for me and my house it is making the bed every morning and it’s doing the laundry doing folding all the clothes and everything like that and not filing my clothes on the guest room that’s where my closet is and I do not I don’t know what else it is but they’re very simple things and when I do those things I make sure I do them you know what life moves on we can get on to the next thing but I do think little examples that in every area of Our Lives we can learn from it we can figure these things out to keep Christ in the marriage Christ helps us more than anything else
I would say the last thing I want to share about this is the importance of our spouses dreams in life all of us have a childhood and in that childhood we learned things that we are going to like and desire for the rest of our lives sometimes it’s a materialistic kind of his name maybe you grew up in a home where your dad never bought a nice car and her friends at school and make fun of your dad’s jalopy lots of times that kid make sure that the rest of his life he has an expensive car car that other people who what a nice car to make up for that because that’s what he wanted and when he gives that to his family he’s like a boy I’ve done a good thing they don’t have to suffer like I suffered just comes like that
lots of times when with husbands and wives Collide it has to do because they see the other even subconsciously impeding their dream from happening dreams how our lives are and what we wish to seize not always materialistic sometimes it’s in his organizational leaders and his priority was very very very important to our soul by God it’s so important to discover what your spouse’s dream is
they might not even know but get in there and figure out what is it that they want to accomplish and I told him once you find that and you stop getting in the way and you start encouraging that dream and once you start making a way and parley with them to accomplish that dream you know what your spouse begins to appreciate you just a little bit more they might not even understand why but when you care about the dreams that they have things that are important to them
and I really do believe that at the very core that’s why God has brought people together sometimes we wonder why on Earth we got ever bring me this person why would I do that you know what sometimes you’re the blessing God loves your spouse so much God wants your spouse to be happy God wants your spouse to be healed God wants your spouse to to to be secured whatever it might be you are God’s answer to that person’s prayer to that person’s hope so often we think we’re in a marriage for our own oh no no no no you are there on assignment from God as an ambassador from Christ to work at it as you are working for the Lord you are doing God’s work in a marriage that is how we are here to see ourselves as an answer to God’s prayer to this person
that’s why you’re a little Kinder that’s why we tolerate the imperfections that’s why we strategize a little bit more how can I come because we don’t want to get in the way of what God wants to do in his first in fact it’s the opposite we want to be a reason that this person is being blessed the words of this person is finding happiness and joy in life that’s the rule that’s the role spouse has I have a prayer that I went to a close with like you should just have them bring his prayers but I found this prayer written out in a book and I thought you know what this says it very well is so if it’s on the screen I’d like to read it real quick in your heads and then we’ll come back and we’re going to read it out loud together but very sincerely if you would if this does describe what you want an invite you to pray this prayer with us
father I surrender all of me to you right now I put you first from now on and choose to find my life my happiness in Jesus alone fill me with your son Jesus in such a powerful way that I become the man woman you created me to be in the power of the name of Jesus I pray
there is so much power in the name of Jesus maybe you come here today you say who is this Jesus Jesus is a reality Jesus is true that Jesus is well into existence and we see the work of Jesus in our world that people who follow Jesus are a great blessing to this world a great blessing to their families the people who follow Jesus are those who are the most loving of all those were the happiest of all because relationships are so important we’re the ones who live like the way Jesus taught
I don’t want to invite you if you haven’t already to take this moment to do something life-changing and that’s to accept Jesus into your heart to ask him to forgive you of your sins by the price he paid on the cross and a come and take up residence and you and to fill you with his holy spirit to lead you and guide you and how he wants you to be a relationship with others and how he wants you to be a relationship with him not only for this life with for all of eternity
heavenly father I pray that if anybody here today does not know you as their personal friend and savior
I asked for that they would simply pray a simple prayer Lord Jesus
thank you for what you did on the cross for me thank you for forgiving me of my sins so I can have a relationship with you
I accept your forgiveness I asked you to come into my heart I asked you to fill my life with your presence and help me to live my life in a way that pleases you. Just in the name of Jesus Amen
that is a life-changing moment that’s what you prayed invited to let me know if that’s a fair you had and I’ll help you take the next steps in it very simply but God will be faithful to you from now all through eternity because you have opened up your life in a relationship with him